Time stamp

(2012 -2013)

As we drove on El Camino Real, California at 7 pm on a February night; it hit me. The vacant streets and the similar looking strip malls spaced out at every 1 mile made me feel  lonely and a little scared. A strip mall typically comprises of a grocery store chain, a nail spa, a Mexican or Thai restaurant, a dental office and a huge parking lot with a very few cars. As the light changed green,  my husband said that he loves his new car and the speed it revs at. It was a feeling I can never describe. I was lonely outside that car and inside as well. Anyway,  since my brother and I have been taught as kids to be strong and face every situation I just let the thought pass. My new defense mechanism to overcome this sense of fish out of water was to talk about the past memories. That’s exactly what I did; started chatting with my husband about our Oracle days in Bangalore. He just listened with his occasional ‘hmmm’;

The days went by with the usual routine of cooking, job hunting , talking with mom and watching Hindi movies on YouTube.  On weekends we would hang out with a few of my husbands colleagues. The theme was men discussing office politics, women cribbing about the amount of work they have to do without maids and how difficult it is to find a job in California. A few rounds of drinks ,women showing off their culinary skills and by 12  we all bid our goodbyes and came back to our apartments. “Oh its 12 am in California, so will be morning back home. Let me call mom and chat with her”.

The job hunting spree was the most daunting task of them all. Along with the pressure of finding a job, there was and additional headache of figuring out on maps the train and bus schedule to get to the interviews. Dressed in formals and heels, I would walk to the train station . The trains were crowed due to the rush hour but unlike my previous train experiences in India where people are chatting and eating with other, here everyone was glued to their devices. They would look up only to show their ticket to the conductor or when their stop arrived. Since, then I was still not as addicted to my phone as now, I would look out of the window. I would see the same set of similar looking houses and strip malls but this time they passed by even faster.

Both my husband and I will never forget our first trip to Ikea. Back in Kuwait, Ikea shopping used to be fun. I would absolutely love it. But shopping in Ikea, Palo Alto was mechanical just like everything else here. We still hadn’t bought a car so had taken the bus. While returning we went and stood at the bus stop near Ikea to get back home. It started pouring heavily and both our phones were dead. All the bus services had been suspended due to the heavy showers. It was 9 pm and there was not a single soul on the road. We walked 1 mile to the nearest gas station, borrowed a phone from someone and called a taxi. The cab came after 1 hour. All the time I remembered how scared we both were.

California has beautiful beaches, the light blue pacific ocean has marked its beaches on the entire stretch of CA-1. On one such time, we both were sitting on the beach and my husband is like you know Japan is one the other side of this ocean. And I just thought I wish I could swim to Japan and be closer to my home.

Our first visit to the Golden gate bridge and San Francisco was fabulous. We had got there partially by train, foot and a taxi. While we walked on the bridge and marveled at the state of art architecture, just one thought came to me. My dad must see this bridge.

(2013 – Present)

After the first year of the settling phase , we started experiencing the comfort and luxuries this country can offer. We travelled within the country and outside, stayed at the best of hotels, ate at the finest restaurants. We have partied till wee hours of the morning, made new friends, moved on from the old ones. Our parents have visited us, we decorated our house, celebrated thanksgiving and Diwali.  Everything has changed from the initial days in this country. Except the sense of loneliness which I had felt on that chilly February night. It follows me around.

But since nothing is constant and everything changes, I am waiting for the next chapter of my life. Like they say ‘Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost’.